We find ourselves on the doorstep of “Slave Trader Joe’s”, and we find that the shop is really run down. The lobby is dimly lit, filthy, and vacant, aside from the sniveling Joe hiding behind his desk piled high with overdue bills. Staab rings the bell, and Joe peeks his eyes up to see who it is.
Joe: “What ‘er ya doin” out an’ about? There’s an Owlbear out there!”
Sunshadow laughs and responds: “Hahaha! We took care of the Owlbear.”
I hold out my Staff of the Woodlands, showing Joe the Owlbear fur on it (from the first session) and exclaim “Yes. And here’s some of its fur as proof.”
Joe took a look at it, and started to poke holes in our story. “Why is it already cleaned and woven? And where are ma men and merchandise?”
Staab took the front and used an intimidating deception. “Don’t. Worry. About. It.” Joe immediately shut up.
Joe attempted to change the subject. “So, uh, thanks for takin’ care of the Owlbear. How ‘bout I give you a discount on anyone in the back? We thanked him, and Joe took us to the back of his shop. It was a standard looking dungeon-y place with torch lighting, and filled wall to wall with cages. In one cage, there was a small, young, purple-y burgundy Kobold curled up like a puppy. In another, there was a human man (who CLEARLY lifts).
Riolu: “How much for the Kobold?”
Joe looks surprised. “Him? You can just have ‘em. I’ve got no use for ‘em.”
Joe unlocks the cage and the now very excited Kobold comes over and gives the 3 of us hugs and kisses.
Sunshadow: “How about the man?”
Joe contemplates for a moment. “500 gold for ‘em. I promise he’s a hard worker. Ain’t that right Jim?” Jim ignores the notion.
I pick the kobold up in my arms, and I tell Joe “My friends here will handle payment.” I begin to walk out, but on my way I pull Sunshadow down to my level and whisper in his ear, “Do whatever to want to Joe. Have fun.” I then walk out of the backroom, through the lobby, and then exit the shop.
I put the kobold down and he sits like a dog and is just precious. “How about we name you Diogi? (Milo Murphy reference)”
He tilts his head. “D-d-d-O IT’S ME DIO! MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA MUDA!” And he starts rapidly (but softly) punching my leg.
Riolu: “All right, D-O it is.”
While I take the muda volley to my shin, I hear what sounds like a slave trader pleading for his life in tears, and then is suddenly silenced. A few moments later, Sunshadow, Staab, and Jim walk out of the shop, all covered in blood.
Sunshadow: “IT’S, FINISHED!” He had the biggest grin on his face, having just dealt out dark justice. Jim looks mortified. I reach into my Garter of Holding and pull out an apple. “Would you like an apple?” He just stares at it.
JIm: “You know, of everything that happened to me this month, from being captured by that pig of a man Joe, to being held in a cage with no sun, to watching that metal guy slice up Joe with a light sword, to seeing whatever that red and black thing do terrible things to the body with daggers that I would soon like to forget, YOU AND YOUR APPLE IS THE MOST DISTURBING!”
Sunshadow puts his hand on Jim’s shoulder. “Hahaha! Don’t worry friend. You’re free now, and Joe is no more. Him and his men.”
JIm has the most spooked expression I’ve ever seen on a person before. “Please. I just want to go home to my wife and daughter.”
So we end up walking him the two blocks to his home, and Sunshadow leaves him with 9 gold. I leave him with a basket of apples for his family.
Now that Joe is no more and the people are freed, we make our way to Decambria’s manor.
Harvest Guardian 