The year is 2036. your a gay gardener you have your own house in a typical suburban neighborhood. your neighbor is a typical white bitchy soccer mom named susan who thought naming her two kids “katielynie” and “leahniheha” was a good idea. her kids get in your garden and ruin your plants. you complain to susan but she tells you she doesn’t care and blames you for not paying lots of money for a fence. you quit your job. you hire yourself as a garden decor salesman. but you make nothing but sexy gnomes. the shop is, somehow, a success. you place the unsold sexy gnomes in your backyard. all facing susan’s garden. she can’t go outside without seeing hundreds upon hundreds of gnomes. she’s furious that her kids have witnessed the slutty, slutty gnomes. she keeps complaining but you just say “if you don’t like it just build a fence” your living. you find a gay farmer who has a passion for making seductive plastic flamingos in their free time. susan is furious that her neighbor has surrounded her home with the slutty gnomes and seductive flamingos. life is good.
Prompt-based fandom events are when you really learn everyone’s colors like you’ll find the people who take the prompt “death” and come up with some smarmy ship-art of character A and character B walking over dead leaves while wearing scarves and drinking hot cider and then you’ll find the people who take the prompt “sunshine” and write how a bright glint of sunshine reflected off the barrel of a gun is the absolute last thing character A sees before taking a bullet to the chest
you can lead a content creator to water but you sure as fuck can’t make him drink
content creators, much like the elder gods, must not be given requests that can be left to interpretation, for the results bring madness upon the unwary
Barry J Bluejeans is a lich necromancer, capable of casting the paladin/cleric spell Command, who is fluent in thieves cant and identifies as a fighter when his memory is wiped.
Barold what the absolute fuck
Barry J Bluejeans, on top of all of this, is also an item artificer (just like everyone else on the Starblaster), a bond and interplanar scientist, and plays the fucking piano, so at any point in time this motherfucker could class as a bard if he really wanted to.
What isBarry?
He had a 100 years to learn everything he could and by God he did
they told you Barry was a nerd but you guys didn’t listen
Maybe I’m an old man but goddamn, these vampires with blood dripping down their chins–that’s your food!! THAT’S YOUR FOOD!! Close!! Your!! Mouth!! You think some asshole slobbering chicken noodle soup or yogurt or clam chowder all down themselves would be sexy??? What makes you any different, you sticky-stained slackjawed screwball??? Close your mouth!! Use a napkin!! And for godssakes stop looking so smug, like, “Oooo, I’m a creature of the night look at what sustains me” yeah uh huh a fucking lack of basic hygiene is what I’m seeing and it is not impressive!! At all!! My nephews are three years old and they drool less than you do!! You’re how many centuries old?!?! ACT LIKE IT
Me, a Hawaiian: “While Hawai’i had a queen we were at the forefront of innovation, technological advancement, and international alliances. All the way up until the “democratic” government of the US illegally arrested her in her own palace and threatened to kill her and massacre her people unless she signed her country over to them. I’d like to have a queen who cares more about her peoples lives than her power again. Also, fuck Trump.”
Reposting cause I can and it’s still relevant
Its worth mentioning that Hawaii is also one of the few countries with a mythic, “Hero King” who they can actually prove existed. King Kamehameha the Great (yes like in Dragon Ball Z), was seven feet tall, the guardian of the war god Kukaʻ ilimoku, and took Hawaii from an archipelago of rival Kingdoms who hadn’t really gotten out of the Bronze Age, unified him under his dominion, and turned the Kingdom of Hawaii into a global trading empire who’s monarchs were greeted at the Court of Queen Victoria.
Guys I’m legit about to cry.
A post I made has over a thousand notes!! And most importantly it’s starting a conversation and spreading knowledge about what was done to my culture.
It is also so heartwarming to go in the notes and find people sharing more information and sources! And even more so to see that only two idiots decided to chime in with their misinformation.
Like, I am damn PROUD of y’all tumblr, we out here learning how to respect each other’s cultures and it’s dooooope!!!!
u know when u peel a mandarin to eat for urself and then someone u love is there and like without even asking u feed them every other piece from ur hand…..why is love so sweet and intimate
Harvest Guardian 