Some Smut Shop Highlights
Look I’ve been waiting weeks for this scene this is way too long and I’m not sorry
…
Caleb: Ah you know, my tastes are, they are very varied…
Matt the smut shop proprietor: a list of clearly, meticulously prepared terrible novel titles…
Everyone: Tusk Love?!!
Jester: I WANT TO BUY TUSK LOVE PLEASE
…
Caleb: I like to learn something while I’m being titillated, I suppose
Matt: you made me do this Liam
Marisha: EDUBATION
(Caleb rolls a 20 on persuasion)
Smut shop owner: its been banned for the past 15 years, but I do have a couple of reclaimed copies of the courting of the crick.
…
Smut shop owner: I do a bit of my own writing…
Beau (ok come on this is Marisha talking to Matt) I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOUR WRITING RIGHT NOW
Caleb: what is your niche?
Travis, very quietly: oh my god, oh my god, please…
Travis: tumblr is so happy right now (lol true)
Matt: a strong, strapping farmhand, who is trying to work doen the cost of a piece of equipment…
Beau: she’s very heavy-handed with her innuendos
Matt:… and the salesman’s like ‘well, I don’t know, how much are you willing to pay…”
Beau: a looot of reference to his equipment, the heft of his equipment…
Travis: the gage of his pipe…
Smut shop owner: do you like it?!
Beau: OH DO I
Matt: …make a deception check
(It was an 18. Smut shop owner was very flattered)
Jester: (writing on the inside of guard of my heart, which has the crownsguard logo on the cover) we’re watching you
Published
Harvest Guardian 